Our Kids need Smart Parents, not Smart Phones!

Does your child have a smartphone? Have you ever asked yourself the question, why?

Is it because:

• You can track your child?

• Stay in contact with them to organise lifts and give them reminders?

• You feel safer knowing your child can ring you if they need support or help?

• Because all their friends have one?

But have you considered this:

• You have given them a device that allows negative social media algorithms access to their self-esteem.

• You have given online bullies 24/7 access to your child.

• You have given strangers and potential predators 24/7 access to your child.

• You have given them access to hardcore pornography.

• You have allowed other people to guide their thoughts on topics like self-harm, self-esteem, alcohol, drugs and confused gender ideology.

• You have allowed them a device that creates mental health challenges.

• You have given them a tool that is addictive.

• You have given them a tool that reduces healthy social interactions.

• You have given them a tool that reduces their desire to go outside, play and interact with you.

• You have given them access to violent games.

• Most children are accessing apps they are legally too young for.

I see first-hand and respond to many instances where phones and social media are used inappropriately — to view harmful sites, to cause harm through hurtful comments or sadly to harm themselves by sending inappropriate pictures of themselves to others. Friendship fallouts occur daily due to online conversations where children say things they would never say in person or where misunderstandings create division in friend groups.

So what can you do? What boundaries should you have in place? Every family is different, yet I want to share some helpful thoughts that can help you navigate this area:

• If you haven’t yet given your child a phone, don’t! Or at least don’t until they have a job so they can take the responsibility of paying for it and their plan.

• Remember that whilst teens have the technical ability to navigate smart phones, the internet and social media platforms, they do not have the emotional maturity to filter what they should or shouldn’t engage in, or know how to helpfully navigate interactions.

• Once a teen looks up a topic, the algorithm will ensure they see more and more of that topic, creating an unrealistic bias. One innocent search can see young people go down rabbit holes on gender issues, self-harm ideas or vile pornography.

• If you need to know where your children are, then give them a brick phone (now termed dumbphones), not a smartphone. Yes, they still exist! Or simply make plans before they go somewhere (remember what we did before we had mobiles?).

• Remove social media apps from the phone and encourage face-to-face space with their friends instead.

• Never, ever allow any tech in bedrooms — you are giving them freedoms they cannot handle.

• Put time limits on screen time at home.

Will this be hard? Yes! Your young person will not thank you (yet) for removing their device or restricting use on it. However, being a parent means making hard decisions in order to protect your children. Our kids need smart parents, not smartphones! Imagine how much easier it would be if many parents created a culture where phones are less of a feature. Will you join the revolution of smart parents?

God bless

Fi Cran
College Counsellor